So there you sit, some days literally and some days figuratively, on the couch of life. You were trained to be – but you are not being; why? Could it be because you are scared of the responsibility of being held accountable? Oh, you have the skills, you have the training, and yes, you have the experience. Yet fear is holding you back from getting paid to do what you’ve prepared to do. So today you’ve gone fishing. You even caught a fish. But standing there on the dock for the proverbial picture, you know today was not a success. You know this because your hands were designed to do what they have been prepared to do and that did not include fishing (or lining kitchen drawers or any other good activity that distracts from giving the world your gift).

Bottom line, it’s time to get your fanny out of the boat and walk on the water. You can do it because you’ve learned the things you need to know to do it. In this first month of the first year of a new decade make the choice to embrace your open heaven. After all, it’s what the world needs from you and playing not to loose will not allow others the privilege of watching you do what you were created to do.

To learn more about this topic contact Dr Marilyn at www.DrMarilyn-EAW.com

Now, over a year later, I continue to hear, “Feed My sheep.” The difference now is that I finally decided to seek outside counsel by doing what I am trained to do; research the topic. In the midst of spending time reading commentaries it hit me, feed the hungry spirit. The emphases on spirit was the nuance that was continuously being impressed upon me by “that” voice in my head. OK, understanding the words was half the battle but I was still left with the struggle to interpret them. My bottom line question was, How does one feed a hungry spirit?” and more specifically, “How was I to feed hungry spirits?”

Well, I suppose in order to know how, one must know what. So the question became, “What does it mean exactly to have a hungry spirit?” I continued my on-line journey searching for hungry spirit exclusively. Yreka, I found it! So what made the difference, why the clarity now after over a year? The answer was simple; I finally wanted to know the answer. “What do I mean by that?” you may ask. I mean to say that I finally wanted “it” bad enough to get off my blessed assurance and seek it out. Truth be told, aren’t there times when we may desire something but not so bad as to get up and get to the business of obtaining it?

How often do we acknowledge or recognize that we go through life, desiring and craving, complaining that we are not blessed with those things we want, feeling that the universal energy or divine spirit has deprived us of what we need? Worse yet, how often do we sit and do nothing about it? Whether we choose to make peace with what we do and do not posses or choose to do something about it, we must make a decision.

So as I decided to seek out the manner in which I was to feed hungry spirits, I discovered that rather than teach (i.e., talk or educate) I was to give my attention away freely. Yes, that’s right, just give others the gift of my attention. Simply listen to their concerns and purely bear witness to their condition. I have to be honest to admit that I suffer from the “fixer’s” disorder. You know the problem; I have an innate desire to fix problems. So often I think there is something I must do, when being present to another’s concerns is one of the greatest gifts I can offer.  Truth be told, I have found that when I listen (or am listened to) the purest form of problem solving tends to occur.

Generally, when given the opportunity and time to process issues, most individuals are able to create solutions that best serve their needs. It is those “bought into-built here” solutions that stand the highest probability of success. Now this is not to say that counsel should not be sought as appropriate, but at the end of the day, the one responsible for executing the fix must be convinced of the tools to be used.

Here’s the challenge, the next time someone you know comes to you with a problem consider listening long enough to allow them to identify its solution. In so doing, you may just aid in the feeding of a hungry spirit.

To learn more about this topic contact Dr Marilyn at www.DrMarilyn-EAW.com

As if there is ever a good time to be complacent regarding one’s job security, now is particularly not the time as the American economy struggles to move forward into rebound mode. Most career coaches suggest that employees come in early, stay late, and take on extra projects. Little day-to-day habits can make a significant difference when promotion or lay-off decisions are being made.

For those not engaged in full or part-time employment looking beyond what is expected should still apply. After all, who wants to have a partner who consistently only contributes what is expected? Worse yet, who would hope to have a friend who only reaches out when expected?

This week I am challenging myself to give those in my life more than the daily minimum required amount of attention. I’ll be working to provide more one-on-one time with my direct reports and will look for opportunities to surprise others by seeking to provide beyond their base needs. How about you? Are you willing to look beyond your job description this week? If so, please drop me a line. I’d love to hear about how you expanded your job role this week!

To learn more about this topic contact Dr Marilyn at www.DrMarilyn-EAW.com

Odds were equally split that contestants would make out better by trading into the unknown and such is the case with the choices we each have presented to us on a consistent basis. This concept is often known as “the grass is greener on the other side” belief. However, as we know, once we head over to the other side we quickly learn that the grass has its own set of weeds, etc. that may in fact make the pastures of yesterday look quite favorable.

So what do you do when you have a “should I stay or should I go” decision to make? While I cannot offer an instant stay or go directive, I can provide an excellent tool that provides a solid decision making strategy. The tool is called a Decision Matrix.

Below is a decision matrix template. Notice box A represents the question “If I do “xyz” (fill in the blank) the best thing that can happen is (fill in the blank). Box B represents the question “If I do “xyz” (fill in the blank) the worst thing that can happen is (fill in the blank). Boxes C and D work similarly and answer the questions “If I don’t “xyz” the best (C) and worst (D) things that can happen are (fill in the blanks for each question).

The decision matrix in practice

Let’s say you are contemplating starting a new restaurant business. You might have the following answers to each question:

A. If I do open a new restaurant the best thing that could happen is that I’ll be doing the work I love.

B. If I do open a new restaurant the worst thing that could happen is that I’ll go bankrupt and lose my home.

C. If I don’t open a new restaurant the best thing that could happen is that I won’t risk going bankrupt and won’t have to worry about losing my home.

D. If I don’t open a new restaurant the worst thing that could happen is that I’ll never know if I could have had the career and life of my dreams.

O.K. now you have four different outcomes clearly represented in your answers. Two reflect doing something and two reflect not doing something. The real question now becomes which options (those tied to doing or not doing) can you live with and be most at peace with if they were to occur? Would you be able to best accept your doing or not doing outcomes? Once you answer that question you can then begin to move towards that decision with clarity and peace knowing that whether the decision results in the best or worst outcome, you will be able to move forward with gratitude for having taken that action.

To learn more about this topic contact Dr Marilyn at www.DrMarilyn-EAW.com

I’ve had the opportunity to coach many individuals who were in wait mode when we first met. They were clearly stuck in a rut and had no idea how to move forward. They sensed something big was just around the corner so they made a choice to sit down and wait for it to find them. Needless to say, they usually failed to connect with their big something.

There are other folks I’ve coached who felt the same expectation but rather than wait for it to find them, they actively sought it out. They also worked to prepare themselves for the big it while they waited. These are the folks that tended to consistently surpass daily expectations rather than wait in disappointment day after day. They took their waiting time to better themselves through training, took care of personal projects while they had the time to do so, and basically made sure they were ready to answer the call when the phone rang.

Do you feel like you have two hours to go today; two hours before that next big something? Are you in doubt as to which next step to take towards it? If so, just take the next small step. Sounds simple doesn’t it? Well in reality it is. You don’t always have to know what the next big it is. Just put one foot in front of the other each day to do what needs to be done so that when you’re down to your last two hours you’ll be ready for the arrival of your next big it.

To learn more about this topic contact Dr Marilyn at www.DrMarilyn-EAW.com

Most corporate CEOs will tell you that it is often when times are tough that the time to break away from the pack most clearly presents itself. Unfortunately, there are so many opportunities to stay in a secure place; to keep from changing. The known, no matter how suboptimal, is frequently preferred to the change process by many. Such is often the way in industry. When an organization is at the top of its game it can be awkward to think about changing. However, that’s precisely the time to change. Doing so allows the continued opportunity to remain at the front of the pack where there is significantly less dust (or competition).

Is life asking a change of you this week? Perhaps your change is made up of a new relationship, career choice, or even a different life style. Whatever the topic you can be sure there will be a multitude of opportunities to second guess your choices – DON’T. This is the time to remind yourself that there are very few things that cannot be changed. Everything else allows for do-overs and/or u-turns. Move forward with those stretch goals. Worst case scenario you fail and have to try something new.

To learn more about this topic contact Dr Marilyn at www.DrMarilyn-EAW.com

Interestingly enough, there are actually times when we may need to do the opposite of what we want to do in order to achieve the results we are seeking. Leadership, in particular, is one area where the most successful leaders are the best servants. Whether an individual leads one or one-thousand, service is at the heart of leadership. Along with service comes the responsibility of being accountable for the wellbeing of others.

Perhaps even tougher than our leadership relations are the actions we are often called to take within our personal relationships. Late night calls for help, requests for resources, even the occasional text message conveying needs other than our own; all realities of being in relation with others. These are the times when we have to give to get, head south to get north. To further confound things we often sow where we do not reap and reap where we have not sown.

I suppose when it’s all said and done, there are numerous opportunities for taking all we can from others. Fortunately, there are far more opportunities for us to give. As you go about your Labor Day weekend, with its extra day away from work, perhaps you’ll have the chance to contemplate how you’ll choose to labor over the next few months. Will you be strong enough to rise to the challenge of serving when doing so takes you off track from your schedule? Can you put another’s needs before yours when you are tired? Should you take the time to pull over and help a stranger in need?

To learn more about this topic contact Dr Marilyn at www.DrMarilyn-EAW.com

To this end, we each have various destinations along our journey towards excellence. All of which provide opportunities for good uses of our time and resources or not so good expenditures. Some are those we are meant to stop at (learn and perhaps grow by) and others are those we must avoid. In some cases a destination may simply be a place we are not yet ready for, in other cases it may be a place we are never meant to visit.

Stop right now, if you dare, and take the time to ascertain what will assist you on your journey towards excellence and what will only derail you. Make the commitment to yourself to do what it takes to avoid detours in favor of driving open highways. Before you continue to the rest of your day, take a few minutes to contemplate unnecessary pit stops you know you need to avoid. These pit stops may be people, places, or activities you know you need to stay away from. If you have any question as to whether something or someone is an unnecessary pit stop, ask yourself, “If I allow this into my journey, will it support my goal of excellence or hinder it?”

Using the racing analogy, never forget that an appropriate pit stop is a “slow down to go quicker” moment, whereas an inappropriate pit stop simply adds delay or completely derails. With that, let us continue the journey towards excellence…beep…beep…

If this sounds a little too familiar, take heart. Perhaps you simply need a last minute Summer vacation to the home of your youth. If you decide to pursue such a journey know that your journey will not look like anyone else’s and that is as it should be. My hope is that your journey will evoke a passionate desire to re-implement your individual excellence upon your return to grown-up land. Not simply because of the rewards you’ll obtain personally by doing so, but because those you lead need you to share all the excellence of which you are capable.

As with every speaking engagement I have presented, today’s BLOG was written because of my unfailing belief in the magic that occurs when we simply do what we were created to do using the gifts and talents we were innately provided. Whether within a corporate environment, our households, communities, or places or worship, it is time that we reach beyond our own self-doubts, to more fully realize and execute our greatest strengths. The strengths we have always possessed and cannot lose because they are who we are.

As you continue your journey to excellence via taking the time to recall your greatness, allow your self-confidence to be buoyed when you feel it rising. When you find yourself smiling as you reflect on your past accomplishments, go with it. Your decision to play big will make it possible for those around you to achieve more than they themselves initially believed was possible. As you’ll see, your becoming excellent was never about you. On that note, remember, excellence is not perfection and don’t stop thinking about how your natural abilities are used when you’re in your excellence zone (i.e., fully manifesting who you have been created to be by executing your innate talents and/or gifts).

Here are a few journey points to remember going forward:

• Set goals, don’t over think the manner in which you’ll achieve them but rather focus on your need to execute them.

• Peoples’ opinions of you don’t define you; never did, never will, no way, no how.

• Think about what ignites passion within you and risk discovering that you are capable of achieving a life that allows you to live that passion.

• Modify or remove relationships that are no longer working or contributing to your ability to become excellence at work.

• Participate in your own liberation, and don’t look to others when you already possess your own life preserver.

• Be willing to do things others won’t do today so that you can have tomorrow what others won’t.

• The best revenge for any past wrong done to you is to become more successful than you were when it occurred.

• No matter what your talent or giftings, always provide more service than expected or what you get paid for.

• Build relationships; position yourself for openings to come.

• If anyone tells you you’re “less than”, stop speaking to them.

With that, don’t stop thinking about tomorrow. The dreams you dream today will be the vision you walk in tomorrow. For everything that is on your heart will come to pass if you only believe that excellence is already within you. So how about it – are you off to embark upon that journey home?

To learn more about this topic contact Dr Marilyn at www.DrMarilyn-EAW.com

Looking back I was torn between extending grace and holding accountable; I opted for extending grace and moving forward. Truth told, I was not feeling great about my decision but I pushed through to move forward putting together a new deal. Then it happened. On Thursday I found myself needing grace when what I thought was a closed deal was sent back to me from the approver with additional work needing to be done. Needless to say, I immediately understood at a deeper level the need for grace. I was also reminded of my overarching belief that, generally speaking, most folks are trying to give their best on a daily basis.

Looking back over the years I’ve found holding the fundamental belief that people by and large try to do the best they can has allowed me to extend grace when their offered best misses the mark. While I wish I had not found myself on the needing grace end of the spectrum this week, I must be grateful for being kept on track and reminded to give grace to those who need it.

How about you? Is there someone in your life this week that needs your grace?

To learn more about this topic contact Dr Marilyn at www.DrMarilyn-EAW.com